The Phantom's Lullaby c6 (Requiem)

[gallifreyireland]

The Phantom's Lullaby Chapter 6- Requiem

synopsis: "With his past, how could the future be any less than agonizing? And yet, she had kissed him. Twice. In that moment, it had almost seemed like she wanted to stay..." Alternate ending to ALW's PoTO, but with references to Susan Kay's Phantom. E/C
disclaimer: I don't own Phantom of the Opera or its characters. Nor do I own any songs quoted in this fic.
in this chapter: Erik says goodbye, Christine is hugged by a stranger, and there was much rejoicing. Oh sorry, some Monty Python slipped in there. But there is a little rejoicing… eventually.

Requiem

Such simple things, doorknobs…so inconsequential one hardly stops to think about them. They are merely tools to aid in getting from one place to another. Yet, as Erik stared into the bronzed metal of the knob in front of him, he couldn’t help but think of it as mocking him. He couldn’t bring himself to open the door, to walk in and see what was waiting within.

“It’s your mother, Erik. She’s dying.”

Dying.

Death never seemed that awful to him. He had taken so many lives over the years that he had grown cold to it.

He’d almost escaped into death’s bliss several times himself. Once by his own hand.

But even after everything the woman had put him through; the thought of his mother dying made his blood run cold.

Now he finally knew what had been pulling him back to Boscherville.

Just as with Christine, he’d always had a sort of connection with his mother. He could sense her presence nearby and sometimes even feel her emotions. When his mother was away, he could sneak down from his attic bedroom and find peace at the old piano in the den. When mother was angry, he would know not to go near her. He had learned the best ways to coexist with her, always dreading the moment when he would do something wrong.

But when he’d run away from home that day, he’d been so full of anger and remorse that the connection fizzled away. He’d assumed it gone for good, but maybe that was the nagging sensation at the back of his mind these past few months. Telling him his time was running out: If you ever want to see her again, you must hurry.

“Your mother…she’s dying.”

Erik had frozen when Mme. Perrault uttered those words. All he could think about was that he’d never told her goodbye….It was silly, really. The woman hated him, but he still loved her. He had left to relieve the burden that was his hideous face, left to restore the sanity he’d taken from her. She probably danced with joy when she woke to find him gone…

After announcing his mother’s impending fate, Marie had disappeared into the church to fetch the priest and left him and Christine outside. He stood in shock, not believing the words he felt in his heart to be true. Christine was trying to talk to him, but there was an odd rushing in his ears and he couldn’t hear her.

Marie returned with the Priest in tow. Somehow Erik could ascertain through the fog that shrouded him that this man was not Father Mansart. He looked about thirty, with a tangled mass of red hair coming down to his ears. He was probably Father Mansart’s young apprentice of a sort…Did priests train replacements? Were they even allowed to retire?

Once again, his thoughts drifted lazily through matters of little importance. Yet, he told himself, such thoughts were distracting him from the current situation, and therefore perfectly acceptable.

Madame Perrault made hasty introductions before leading their small group through the streets, down a side road and into a small apartment. Had Erik been paying more attention, he would have heard as Marie explained how Madeleine had moved in with her after his disappearance. Her health started to take a turn for the worse months ago, and shortly thereafter it was assumed to be cancer.

And that blasted door was all that separated him from the woman he thought dead long ago.

“She has been asking for you.”

His head snapped to look at Madame Perrault, incredulous as to why she would say such a thing. His mother didn’t care about him in the slightest, and he would question the sanity of anyone who claimed to want to be in his presence…But then there was Christine, someone whose clarity of mind rivaled his own and she was here beside him of her own free will…

Would the world ever make sense?

He turned back to the door with a deep sigh and ran a hand down the unmasked side of his face. For the first time in years, Erik found himself longing for the pressure of a needle. The sweet numbing relief morphine had always brought him; welcoming him like an old friend. But he hadn’t lost himself that way since, well…

Christine had become his drug of choice instead.

He had no morphine, nor did he want to revisit the pain of withdrawal when he inevitably quit again. Besides, nothing could have prepared him for what awaited him in that dim bedroom.

He reached for the doorknob, determined not to let that little piece of metal beat him, and opened the door slowly.

“Ch…Cha..rles..?”

He couldn’t see her very well in the gloom, and he doubted very much she could see him well either, but even so…she must be in a really bad way to confuse me with him. Erik’s father had been dead for months before he was born, so he never knew the man. But he had seen a photo of him once. His mother had been out and he found the worn photograph while rummaging about things he had no business with in his mother’s room. From what he could recall, the man was very handsome.

But his deformity killed any chance of resembling his father.

The sound of her voice brought back so many memories of things he didn’t want to remember, even hoarse and weak as it was. Regardless, he was propelled into the room without really wanting to enter.

He found himself sitting on the side of her bed, clasping her frail hand in his before he knew what was happening. Her face was a ruined shadow of the beauty it once held. Time and disease had seen to that.

He tried to find his voice to say something, anything at all to the woman who had raised him- if one can really call it that- but found himself at a loss once again. Suddenly he felt the warmth of Christine’s presence at his side, and her hand gripped his shoulder in support.

“Mother, it’s me. It’s Erik.”

Her eyes fought to focus on his face, and he saw a flicker of recognition there.

After a few moments of tense silence as they stared into each other’s eyes, she sighed and her lips twitched just a bit. She is attempting to smile at me? Some other part of his mind grudgingly acknowledged that his expression probably looked very similar when he smirked at people.

“Erik.”

He had no clue what to say to her. It would have been better for everyone if she were already dead.

XxxX

Christine felt a little out of place. Actually, very extremely out of place. She couldn’t help but think that she was intruding on a private moment. Even if she did want to hear what Erik’s mother would say to him, she would rather give him this time to say goodbye. But when she tried to pull her hand from his shoulder and back away, he reached up and gripped her fingers to hold her there.

The motion drew his mother’s attention, and Christine now felt the weight of Madeleine’s eyes on her. She looked to be scrutinizing her. For what purpose, she couldn’t tell; but it was very intimidating. She couldn’t bring herself to hold the woman’s gaze for more than a few seconds at a time.

“Erik…wh-who is your lovely…fr...friend?” The pitiful woman had to fight for every word, but Christine did not feel sorry for her. She’d learned enough from what little Erik spoke of her to know that the woman was an awful excuse for a mother. She had to fight to keep the animosity she felt for her off her face.

Erik had once told her that she was like an open book, her emotions and thoughts flittering across her face without thought for suppression. This was helpful when she was onstage and channeling a character, but very inconvenient otherwise.

Erik looked up at her over his shoulder and the warmth in his eyes caught her off guard. She smiled tightly back at him and tried to remember that this was about him and his mother. About giving him a chance to make things right with her, and she shouldn’t be letting her thoughts and judgments get in the way of that.

“Mother, this is my…fiancée, Christine.” It was the first time either of them had said the word out loud, and it gave her a thrill to think about. Even though he was holding his dying mother’s hand, he was beaming up at her as if she were the most miraculous thing in the universe. Like he couldn’t believe she was there with him, or that she existed at all. A rush of emotion swept through her and she felt the tingle of unshed tears in her eyes. She brought her other hand up to quickly swipe them away.

“Oh…Erik, that…that’s just wonderful.” Erik’s head swiveled back to look at Madeleine so quickly she almost missed the movement at all. One moment he was gazing at her lovingly, the next all she could see was the back of his head and the smooth dark hair that grew there.

He was obviously just as surprised as she was at Madeleine’s words.

“I’m ha-happy you found some…one, Eri...k.”

He was doing his ‘I have no idea what to say but will try to preserve my all-important dignity and speak anyway’ routine again. His voice was unsteady when he spoke next, but became stronger as he went on.

“Th-thank you, mother. We are very happy together.”

She smiled at him. And she actually looked like she might have meant it.

Suddenly her face scrunched in pain and she gasped as though some unseen force was squeezing her lungs. Marie flew to the other side of the bed to hold her hand until she calmed. “Shh, it’s okay Madeleine. It’s almost over. I brought Father Ame for l'onction des maladies, just like you asked.”

The young priest stepped forward but looked reluctant to interrupt and instead stayed at the foot of the bed. Erik stood and gestured for the man to take his place at his mother’s bedside. The priest- Father Ame- pulled out some sort of oil and dripped it across Madeleine’s forehead before he started murmuring a soft prayer.

When it seemed as though most of the pain had passed, Madeleine looked at Erik with renewed purpose shining in her eyes.

“E-Erik, sing f..for me, ple..ase?”

Christine had both her hands wrapped around Erik’s arm, so she felt him stiffen at his mother’s request. Marie looked up and smiled at him in encouragement.

“Erik, would you? She’s always said how much she loved your music. It would be good for her to hear one last time.”

Erik didn’t look like he believed a word of it, but sighed and nodded anyway. Father Ame finished his duty and moved back to his place near the door. Erik hesitantly moved closer to his mother’s side once again, and Christine went with him. He didn’t seem to know what to sing, but after a moment’s thought, he took a deep breath and began.

When you feel you're alone,

cut off from this cruel world,

Your instinct's telling you to run…

Listen to your heart,

those angel voices.

They'll sing to you,

they'll be your guide

back home

When life leaves us blind,

Love keeps us kind

Christine had never heard this song before, and she wasn’t sure if it was one of his old compositions that he hadn’t shared with her or something new. He could have been making it up as he went along. He was certainly talented enough. The words were so heartfelt she couldn’t keep a tear from escaping and sliding down her cheek.

When you've suffered enough,

and your spirit is breaking,

You're growing desperate from the fight…

As Erik was singing Madeleine’s eyes slid closed and Christine felt a stab of panic that the woman was gone, but her eyelids fluttered and Christine realized she was simply enjoying Erik’s music the same way she herself sometimes did. With her eyes closed to focus on the silken warmth of his voice. She let herself do the same.

Remember you're loved,

and you always will be.

This melody will bring you right

back home

When life leaves us blind

Love keeps us kind

When Christine opened her eyes, Madeleine had tears streaming down her face, but she looked peaceful despite the pain she was obviously feeling.

When life leaves us blind

Love keeps us kind…

Erik’s song came to a close and he kneeled by his mother’s side, clutching her hand once more. She sighed and brought his hand up to her lips, kissing his knuckles softly.

“I…I’m sorry that I n-never realized be…fore, but…it all…begins with….love, E-Erik.”

Something in those words startled Erik and he let out a small gasp.

“Mother…?”

“You des…erve to be h-happ..y,” Madeleine’s eyes slowly slid upwards to meet Christine’s, and once again the younger woman felt like squirming under her gaze. “P-promise me that you…you’ll take care…of him.”

Christine wasted no time in nodding determinedly.

Her eyes slid closed once more, but this time Christine could tell they wouldn’t open again. Erik got to his feet unsteadily and, after a moment’s hesitation, leaned down to kiss his Mother on the forehead. It was a very sweet gesture, and one Christine would not have expected from him. He abruptly turned and left the room as if he could not stand to be there for one second longer. After a slight smile at Madame Perrault and a nod to the priest still standing by the door, Christine followed him.

XxxX

Erik took his mother’s tenderness towards him with a grain of salt. The woman was dying and obviously wanted some measure of atonement for her past crimes before entering “the great beyond” or whatever awaited her. But those words she had uttered just before she passed- it all begins with love- that struck a chord in him somewhere. Maybe…but no. Certainly not. She couldn’t have…could she?

He needed to get back to the house. He needed to check, just to be sure…

Before he got two steps out the front door of the small building, he remembered his plans for the following day and turned around, sweeping past Christine who had been close behind him.

“Father Ame?”

The man in question left the dark room where Madeleine’s body lay and stepped into the hall with him.

“Is there something you need, Monsieur?”

“Excuse me, Father, but do you have any knowledge of Father Mansart? Is he still In town?”

If the man was surprised by Erik’s question, he gave no sign. “Yes, actually. He resides in a house not far from the parish. He passed most of the everyday dealings of the church to me, but still serves in an official capacity…”

Erik released a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. “Do you think I could meet with him this evening? I have something very important I’d like to discuss.”

This did give the man pause. He was probably expecting the son of a just-dead woman to be distraught with grief, not making social calls. Well, tough. I did not come this far to let something so inconsequential ruin my new start with Christine.

“Of course. I will take you to him.”

XxxX

When Erik came back out of the small building behind the young priest his eyes were bright and a smile pulled at the corners of his mouth as soon as he saw Christine. He took her hand and they trailed after Father Ame.

Christine couldn’t help glancing up at him as they walked; just checking to make sure he was alright. The fact that he seemed to be completely fine should have reassured her, but in fact did quite the opposite. This wasn’t normal. Granted, Erik had never fallen into the ‘normal’ category for as long as she’d known him, and probably never would. But still…his mother had died not twenty minutes ago and the man looked as though he hadn’t a care in the world!

Christine realized that she would never quite understand him and sighed. When he looked over at her questioningly, she just smiled and realized that he was probably just as baffled by her.

XxxX

Father Mansart was reading in his study, as he usually did before turning in for the night, when he heard a knock on his front door. It wasn’t unheard of for a parishioner to want to speak with him at this time of night, so he put his book aside with a sigh and shouted “Come in.”

His colleague Marc Ame was soon peering in the doorway. “I’m sorry to bother you, Father. But I thought you should know Madeleine passed away this evening.”

Father Mansart knew it was coming, but this news was still hard for him to hear. He and Madeleine had once been fairly close friends, but it had been many, many years since they spoke properly. Not since he had attempted that exorcism on the boy… He shuddered. He could never quite forgive himself for that lapse in judgment…

When Madeleine realized her days were coming to an end, she even requested that he not be the one to read her the Last Rites.

He sighed. “I’m sorry to hear it. But with the pain she has been in these past few months, perhaps she is better off. Thank you for coming to tell me.”

He expected Father Ame to excuse himself after delivering his news, but the younger man was still hovering in the doorway looking decidedly uncomfortable.

“Was there something else you needed, Marc?”

He looked up at him and cleared his throat. “Yes, actually, Father. You have a visitor. Someone who would like to speak with you….”

Father Mansart was becoming a little annoyed with the man’s hesitation. He was pushing seventy eight and not interested in beating around the bush any longer. “Well, who is it?” He replied gruffly.

“Its…well, sir, its Madeleine’s son. I believe he said his name was Erik?”

Whatever response he had been planning flew out the window along with any drowsiness he had been feeling moments earlier.

“Send him in.”

XxxX

While Father Ame was speaking to Father Mansart down the hall, Erik tried to prepare Christine as much as possible.

“I’m not sure what he will think. The last time I saw him…” His eyes slid shut as he remembered. “Let’s just say we did not part on the greatest of terms. Regardless of what he did and how I treated him because of it, I know he was just trying to help me. I always respected him, right from the beginning, and still do. He got me interested in music in the first place. Even tried giving me voice lessons.” He chuckled at some errant thought and continued.

“But I did love to mess with him. I suppose I can’t blame him for something I may have inadvertently suggested. The man had really convinced himself that I was possessed by some entity…!” He trailed off and looked at Christine whose eyes were wide with disbelief.

“He thought you were demon-possessed. And we are going to sit down and have a nice chat with him?”

“Really, Christine, it’s okay. I’ve forgiven him. Let’s just hope he can do the same for me.”

They sat in silence for the next few minutes while they waited, Christine glancing nervously at Erik every few seconds only to have him smile a little to reassure her.

They both looked up when Father Ame returned. “He is able to speak with you in his study down the hall. Now, if you will excuse me, I need to get back to the church.”

Erik nodded at the man and Christine said “Of course, Father. Thank you.”

They watched him leave before heading to the study.

When they entered the room, no one spoke. Father Mansart was looking at Erik with something akin to wonder. He was obviously surprised- and it seemed pleasantly so- to see him again after so long. Just as Erik worked up the courage to say something and was opening his mouth to do just that, Father Mansart stood from his desk and practically skipped over to him, capturing him in a tight embrace.

Erik looked helplessly over at Christine, obviously uncomfortable with this turn of events and unsure how to proceed. She was trying very hard to stifle her laughter at his expression, which must have been something to see from the way she was acting. His eyes narrowed, but he had to stop himself from smirking also, her happiness was so infectious. Traitor, he thought to her as he held his arms awkwardly around the older man, but not quite touching him.

After a moment of this, Father Mansart pulled away. He stood holding Erik’s forearms as his expression calmed from delight to something a little more somber.

“I’m sorry we had to meet again under such circumstances, my boy, but I am so glad to be seeing you again.”

“Likewise, Father.” He smiled slightly at him and continued “But in all honesty, tonight’s….unfortunate events are not the reason I-- we came here.” Erik’s correction alerted the priest that they were not alone in the room.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I was so surprised to see Erik I almost did not notice you there!” He said to Christine, some of his earlier exuberance returning. Christine smiled shyly in response.

“Hello, Father. Erik has told me all about you. “

“Father, this is Christine Daaé. She is my fiancée,” Erik introduced. He reached out for her hand and, when she took it, pulled her closer to his side. The more times he said the word fiancée the happier he became.

Father Mansart’s face lit up when he heard Erik’s announcement. He promptly turned to Christine and pulled her into a hug with almost as much gusto as he had with Erik. Christine blushed and looked to Erik while hesitantly patting the man on the back.

Erik’s smug look and the playful light in his eyes clearly said “Not so funny now, is it?”

When the priest pulled away, he took Christine’s right hand in his and placed a small kiss to her knuckles. “Forgive me for my impropriety, but this is the best news I have received in ages! It is lovely you meet you, my dear.” He placed Christine’s hand in Erik’s before wrapping his own hands around their joined ones. He looked back and forth from Erik to Christine as he spoke. “There is no greater joy than seeing two people so devoted to each other. Please, come have a seat.” He released their hands and gestured to the two chairs across the desk from his.

“Thank you, Father,” Erik said as they all sat in their respective chairs. Christine kept her hand locked with his in her lap. “We actually came to Boscherville because, well, we were hoping you would marry us?” His statement turned into a question as his apprehension kicked in. He cleared his throat to clarify. “Tomorrow. We were hoping you would be able to marry us tomorrow in a small ceremony. Just us and a few friends.”

Father Mansart was flabbergasted, but tried his best to hide it. “It would be the greatest honor, Erik.”

xXx

They left the priest’s house after discussing details such as time of day (sunset) and the type of ceremony they would like. Christine having hesitantly suggested writing their own vows. Erik agreed wholeheartedly.

They headed back towards his childhood home in an almost dreamlike state. His mother’s death had given him closure, at least somewhat, on that part of his life.

For the first time in ages, Erik found himself actually tired and longing for the warm comfort of a bed. He supposed it was long overdue. The sun had finally given up and slipped below the horizon, and the conversation he’d had with Nadir back in Paris seemed a lifetime ago. Was that really only this morning?

He was quite certain he would fall asleep promptly tonight for once.

But not yet. There was something he needed to investigate once they arrived back at the house. Then, and only then, would he finally be able to let go of the past.